Hey Lady, Can I sell you some envelopes?

I’ve been given one job to do for my daughter’s wedding. One people! All I have to do is address and mail the invitations. I’m thinking easy peasy. But in typical Mary style I go and screw it all up.

I immediately go to Pinterest, follow all of the rabbit trails to different sites and boards, then pin lots of pretty ideas. There are sooo many beautiful invitations out there! When I got married, back in the dinosaur age, my mom and I went to the wedding desk at Belks Department store. There, some lady lugged out a huge white leather book with invitation samples. She may even have had two books to look at. Your choices were white, off-white, cream or if you wanted to get crazy…ivory. 

Finding a pretty one is not an issue. It’s “How Many?” that actually causes much strain and stress to planning a wedding. Mary Claire and Tyler are two of the sweetest, funny, outgoing and friendly people I know. Everyone they’ve ever met adores them and they adore them right back. So who gets put on the list? 

Of course one has to put a limit somewhere on the number of guests. MC and T are super careful with the wedding budget and don’t want to go willy nilly with the numbers. (Thank goodness!) This being my first time at this rodeo, I did lots of research on ways to solve this problem. We decided that we would have an “A” list and a “B” list. We’d send out the first wave of invitations a little bit earlier to get a feel for numbers, then send out the second wave. 

(My story is about to get a bit confusing, but try to hang in there.)

So, old Mar orders 150 invitations with 100 of the reply cards saying to respond by an April date and 50 reply cards to respond by a May date. Now remember that each reply card comes with its own envelope. I’m ready to go!

Unfortunately, the wedding couple is not able to give me their list until it is too late to send the invitations in two waves. Unfortunate, but not the end of the world. I can always use the reply cards in my crafts somehow. And the 100 envelopes? Heck! I can always use envelopes! I order 100 more May reply cards. (These reply cards come with their own envelopes…100)

I’m just itching to get started, so I address my side of the family and friends, about 75 invitations. Boy, I am so efficient and organized!

The groom sends me his guest list on a spreadsheet with like ten columns. It is very organized with what to put on the outer envelope and what to put on the inner envelope. Hold The Presses! Wha-what?!?! There’s an inner envelope?!?!

I immediately go to the website where I placed my order and sure enough there IS an inner envelope. Snap. I call the company up and tell them I need 150 inner envelopes.  

They send me these. Yes, 150 business size envelopes for the pretty invitation on the right to fit in. What exactly is an inner and an outer envelope you may be asking? Some invitations, like this one, gets slipped into an inner envelope and it is where you would write the informal names of the invitees. Then the inner envelope and the reply card, with its self addressed and stamped envelope gets slipped into the outer envelope where the formal name and address go. Got it? 

 Meanwhile, Lilly tries to make sense of all of this. Help me Lilly!

Now where was I in this dramatic saga of mine? Oh yea, the company sent me the wrong size inner envelopes. I get on the phone and talk to Ryan. (What are you wearing Ryan from invitation company? Khakis. Ryan sounds hideous! Ryan is a guy. Sorry I kept hearing that commercial in my head.) 

As Ryan, who actually sounds quite handsome and is very nice, looks over my previous orders, he notices that ALL of the envelopes I have are wrong!

Me: “No, honey, You guys sent me the outer envelopes, I just need the inner ones.” 

Ryan: “Um, unfortunately m’am, we sent you all the wrong ones.” 

Me: “But Ryan darling, I’ve already addressed AND stamped about 75 of them.” 

Ryan: “Oh I’m sorry to hear that. But if you put the envelopes in the freezer, the stamps should come off easier.” 

(Gee, thanks for the tip.)

Ryan fixed the order and didn’t charge me a cent. He even expedited the shipping. See, Ryan is a good guy.

Meanwhile, with 75 envelopes in my freezer, I’m thinking to myself…we are talking about envelopes here. Do I really have to redo all of these guys? I decided to just keep the ones I had written as is. I apologize to my side of the family who will not get their invitation in an inner envelope. But I did want to do the right thing with the groom’s side, so I was going to wait until I did anything with their list.

I realize that this whole inner and outer thang could have put anyone else over the edge, luckily for Superman I was actually completely calm about it all. This is just par for the course with me. 

I didn’t want to waste this time I had. I wanted to be completely organized and ready to go when the new shipment arrived. So I began to address the reply cards. That was something I could do! I even took the old April dated cards away from the table so I wouldn’t get them mixed in. Heaven forbid I get confused! I hand wrote every single last one of the reply card envelopes with my daughter’s address. I felt so accomplished and organized. I even took the the cards and slipped them under the envelope flap. Suddenly I ran out of cards! I had a whole big ol stack of envelopes with no cards to go with them! I started to panic a bit. Where are the cards! I looked in the April pile, no May cards. I looked in the trash pile I had going on in chair beside me, no cards. THEN it dawned on me…I took away the 100 April cards, but I had not taken away the 100 envelopes that went with them!!! Do you understand what I did?!? I addressed 100 stinkin envelopes with my daughter’s address that I didn’t need to do!!! Not 10, not 50…100! I addressed the 100 April envelopes! OMG! I can’t use them now. What a waste. I am such a doofus. 

 Lilly wasn’t much into consoling me.

I did have a few things going for me…I always try to look at the bright side…I still had time to get things done properly. I got lots of practice on my handwriting. The only person this whole debacle would affect was me.  

 When the order arrived, I was ready to go. 

 Now with the added envelope, I wondered about the postage. I took a completed invitation with inner and outer and reply card and its envelope all in one and had it weighed. Same cost! Woo Hoo! 

(Aren’t these pretty stamps? Thank you USPS!)

  Woop Woop! All done! Notice the back left hand row has small envelopes? That’s my side. Again, forgive me family for the lack of inner envelope. 

 Just needed to seal ’em up. Knowing I didn’t want to poison myself, like George Costanzas fiancĂ© when she licked her wedding invitations and died, I decided to use a wet paper towel.  

 Did you know that you can’t just quickly wipe across? Oh no! This happens if you do…the flap won’t close. Can’t have that. Rub across the gum surface to loosen the particle. Then press down firmly.

(I am full of knowledge.)

  Then this beautiful sight happened. 

Can we all just have a moment of silence as we reflect on this accomplishment? 

And with a flick of her wrist and the slam of the little tin door…she said Amen.

Thank you for stopping by! And if you are in need of some envelopes, just give me a call!


Just Sitting Here

I have no idea what tomorrow’s weather is suppose to be, but today is Gor-Ge-Ous!  

 It’s 75 degrees. The sun is out at 5:30pm. Ahhhh… 

My shoes are kicked off  and I realize I am in need of a serious pedicure. I would love to think that I could be wearing my flip flops from now on, but I have a feeling we still have a few cold snaps in our future. 

 Cheez-It’s, a glass of wine and the newest edition of Garden and Gun that has arrived fresh in my mailbox today. The perfect remedy for my out of sorts mood I’ve been in lately. I haven’t wanted to do anything. The radio is turned off in my car, because the noise is just too much. I couldn’t even cut and glue. I haven’t been depressed. I think I was just physically, emotionally and spiritually tired. Sitting here on my deck is so therapeutic. The sun is warm, the birds are chirping and I really feel relaxed.

(Even the two little girls who are swimming in their pool behind us right now, whining and fighting aren’t bothering me. I’m just glad they aren’t mine! …….Ok. Truthfully? They are reeeally on my. Last. Nerve. But I think if I can think happy thoughts, like “they aren’t mine” and ” I’m so glad my kids are older”, then maybe I won’t be as irritated.)

Adam came home yesterday for spring break. Oh my goodness! What a joy it is to have him home. Things are kind of crazy right now at his college and it’s just good to take care of my boy. He asked if I could make him meatloaf. Yup! That I can do. I even pulled together some banana puddin too. Adam and Superman flew out early this morning to ski in Colorado for a couple of days. It will be good for the two of them to hang out and get away for a while.

  Poor old Sam is hurting today. Since Monday she has been limping, so I took her to see her vet. Luckily the X-ray showed nothing wrong. The doctor suspects she pulled a muscle around her hip joint. The shot they gave to relax her for the X-ray has knocked her out all day long. She’s been a practical coma since we got home. I would peek in on her while I was washing my car, making sure she was still breathing. I’m watching her as if she’s a child…well she is my baby.  

 Lilly Muffin is keeping an eye on things. She’s making me laugh at the way she’s  catching bugs in the window. Such a good kitty. 

 Just last week these pansies were looking a bit wilted and brown. And just like me…a little bit of sunshine and warm temps have us feeling good. I look forward to seeing the purple clematis bloom on the bare branches there on the trellis. When I stroke the Rosemary, sweet fragrance fills the air. Yeah I’m starting to feel better.

Life can come at us fast sometimes. In the past two weeks there has been sickness and  injustice, death and failures, disappointments and hurts. There have been emergencies and long to dos, spontaneous events and unfinished projects, late nights and early mornings. 

And I have had a mailbox full of encouraging love notes from friends…three in one day!  I’ve heard about God working his stuff in friends’ lives. I got to spend time with my momma. I had a sweet evening with a sweet friend. My basement had a dozen women gathered with a cups of coffee, bibles open and speaking with hearts wide open and words of wisdom. I shared the gospel of truth to the women at the homeless shelter. (I love the excitement and conversation we have on Thursday mornings!)

So yeah. I’ve been out of it. Not myself. Crying and sad sometimes. But now. Right now in this moment I am happy. I’ve made a few mistakes, but they can be fixed. Tomorrow is a new day. The sun will rise. I am forgiven and loved.

Thanks for dropping by!