I remember when we first met. It was my freshman year at the College of Charleston, when I was getting ready for a party that evening. A friend walked into my room and told about these Citadel cadets that were up on the hall. Oh Brudda! I love a guy in uniform, so I had to check these dudes out. These three guys had us laughing so hard! He called me a couple of nights later and we talked until 2:00 in the morning. I remember stretching the phone chord into the closet to talk to him. I think I failed the chemistry exam I had the next day…..oh the things we do for love.
Nine months later he asked me to marry him! I was 19 years old and needless to say my parents weren’t too happy about the situation. After promising my dad that I would finish school, we tied the knot a year and half later.
I love the local Sunday newspaper where I read about the newest brides, who was in the wedding, where they had the wedding, where the couple went to school and their jobs now.
Weddings are a hot topic for tv shows- Say Yes To The Dress, My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, Four Weddings– all seen on The Learning Channel and My Fair Wedding on the We Channel. I know there are plenty more. Then if that isn’t enough, check out Pinterest!
Weddings are a symbol of hope for me. With all that’s bad in the world, I like to think that the love between these two people will last a lifetime. Love is a good thing. God created woman so man would not be alone. We are made to be in relationship with others. Usually, when saying “I do”, it means a commitment to love one another, support each other, make decisions together, care when we are sick, and to trudge through when times get tough. But as you know, this isn’t always true. In fact, 50% of all marriages will end in divorce. I get heartsick every time I hear about another couple calling it quits.
Superman and I have been married for 26 years. But let me tell you…it hasn’t always been easy. Even in the worst of times, divorce was never an option. Counseling? Yes. Divorce? No. I believe that because Superman and I have a solid relationship of love, friendship and respect, we are able to overcome any marriage obstacle. God is the head of our marriage.
Some quick statistics from The State of Our Unions.
The rate of satisfaction in marriage is higher for husbands and wives when both regularly maintain religious attendance and feel that God is the center of their marriage. (The State of Our Unions 2011, 31, 33)
Both men and women have higher life expectancies when married than those who are single or divorced. (Why Marriage Matters, 30)
Statistics show that, due to the lack of stability and support in the home, children from divorced parents experience significant decrease in academic success, physical health, and future stability in their own relationships. (Marriage and the Family in the United States: Resources for Society and Why Marriage Matters)
Couples who cohabit have a 46% greater risk of divorce than couples who do not live together before marriage (Marriage and the Family in the United States: Resources for Society, 10). Those who cohabit without a prior commitment to marriage are especially at risk if they eventually decide to marry. (see Dr. Scott Stanley, “Sliding vs Deciding” blog)
I find these stats interesting. For one, I love that satisfaction is higher when couples attend religious services together. We can’t do this on our own. People are sinful by nature. We need God to guide us. Secondly, as a nation, we are always looking for ways to live longer. We eat our fruits and veggies, exercise, and pray, so why not add “keeping the marriage together” as a priority? As the statistic above states, not only does divorce affect you as a couple, children show signs of decline too. Although, we may think that it is only about the husband and wife, the failed marriage touches everyone…children, sisters, brothers, parents, friends, co-workers and neighbors. All of this scares me. Too many couples that I know are calling it quits.
I am not an expert on marriage. I am a failure in so many ways. But I think I have some ideas that will help not only my marriage, but hopefully your’s too.
1. Love one another.
2. Be each other’s friend.
3. Go out of your comfort zone sometimes and do something together.
4. Pray every day for your spouse. Here is a link to help with praying for our husbands 31 Days of Praying for Your Husband.
5. Kiss, hold hands, hug
6. Say “I Love You!” everyday.
I love Superman! We are two sinful people with different ways of thinking, doing, expressing our thoughts, loving, sharing, who are bound together and committed to making this marriage last a lifetime. That whole- men are from Mars and women are from Venus is true. God created each of us with talents and personalities. We can’t forget about those special qualities that made us fall in love with each other. Let’s rejoice in our differences, thanking God for our uniqueness. Love is Good!
Here is a sweet video that I hope you will enjoy. Luck-A NYC Marriage Proposal