Oh how easy it is for me to get on that nauseating ride of “Oh Whoas Me”. I read in the local paper first thing in the morning about drug abuse, theft, vandalism, bombings and the Ebola virus.
I go to the crazy messed up fair.
When I talk to the women at homeless mission about Jesus, I am asked how can she believe in a God that allowed her parents to abuse and neglect her, her entire life.
I feel weary. The carnival man calls me to his ride.
I walk 3 1/2 miles, drink lots of water, take my vitamins, limit sugar and yet my weight keeps going up and up. Maybe I should walk 5 miles, raise my own chickens and grow my own garden of vegetables.
The carny is right, I can’t do a thing to change the world around me. I’m just not good enough. I buy a ticket and sit right down.
It’s nauseating. I’ve been on this ride before, way too many times.
Praise God I know the way off! It isn’t about just stopping the way I think. I’m human. It’s about asking God to help me.
This is the first time Tyler has come home with Mary Claire. There is a vulnerability that happens when someone comes to spend the weekend in your home. Having that first cup of coffee in the morning, before showering can say a lot. Our Maxwell House moment only confirmed prayers I have prayed for my little girl’s husband since she was born. I know I’m being presumptuous, but “Thank you God!” Our weekend together was so fantastic!
Mary Claire and Tyler were in town this weekend, because MC was the maid of honor in her friends’ wedding. Not only has she been friends with the bride since elementary school, but she also grew up with the groom. In fact Superman and I are Michael’s God parents. Watching Ashley and Michael vow to each other to love and cherish each other forever got me all teared up. Seeing both sets of parents who have been married for 25 plus years and this new commitment being made, gives me hope in this divorced world.
There is so much tragedy in this world of ours, that I understand how one could doubt if there is a God. But look at this sight! Oh My Goodness! These are my guys at the top of Granite Peak in Montana. It is considered one of the most difficult high points in the lower 48. From high camp to the summit back down to high camp, it took them 15 hours. (Praise God, Superman had enough sense to not ask me to join them! I was glad to stay home for this adventure.)
The crazy self-deprecating carnival ride ends.
I am a loving, creative, healthy woman, mother, wife, sister and friend, who lives a cluttered crazy life, making lots of mistakes and trying the best I can.
I say good-bye to the carny guy for now. I pray I won’t see him again for a long long time.
Thanks for dropping by!