Day 5 of trying to jumpstart my body into getting fit. I’ve tried for years to lose these 10-15 pounds…nothing, nada, zilch. This 11 day cleanse is suppose to help rid my body of the toxins that it’s holding onto. I’ve written about this process here and here.
Part of this process is to journal about how we feel before, during and after we eat. As you know America is in an awful epidemic of obesity. Food has become our addiction and it isn’t healthy. Many use food to suppress depression or combat stress. So today I’m writing in my journal here. Yup, right here for all to see. (It ain’t pretty.)
Dear Detox Journal,
I am actually kind of proud of myself for staying in with this thing as long as I have. I’m a big go-getter in the beginning of most projects, but usually lose steam real quick. So here I am on day 5 of the cleanse portion of program, day 9 all together. You want to know how I feel?
I feel crabby and irritable.
My hair is flat.
When I measured myself, thinking that surely, I would be losing inches after drinking sour elixirs, soaking seeds, eating salads and trying to swallow the grey snot-chia pudding. But NO! I’ve actually gained an inch in my chest, hips and thighs! Ugh!
There’s laundry to fold and bills to pay.
Boxes are still sitting on the counter that I kept from Christmas thinking I might have a use for them later.
After several attempts, I have not successfully created a cutsie something or other for my front door.
I’m freezing one minute, then in a puddle of sweat the next.
I’m wearing the same pair of jeans for the past three days.
It’s cold outside but I know I have to walk.
I have a headache…again.
I want to eat that little piece of warm toasted French bread with a pat of real butter along with the soup I have been making. But I can’t!
I want to have a big old cup of hot coffee with hazelnut creamer.
I don’t like ginger.
I hate that I went ahead and bought every single item on the suggested grocery list. Although I’ve eaten most of it, did I really think I was going to eat 8 red/yellow peppers? I hate wasting food.
My pee is dark and I poop all of the time. Wonderful! Toxins being released from my body…but
I hate hearing about friends I know going through a divorce. Two people were once in love. We’ve laughed together and probably shared a meal. It makes me feel so sad.
Cancer sucks. One one hand there should not be a room full of children getting treatment for cancer! But on the other hand, I have to praise God, that there is a room for children battling cancer giving them treatment and life.
It really stinks to get cancer once. But twice?
I am not intentional with people. I call. I don’t text. I don’t send cards like I want to. I even wake up thinking about the letters I want to write to friends. But yet I can’t seem to remember or another day passes by or I choose to do something else.
Did I say that I have a headache? I’m not sure if these tears are from the onion I just chopped or if it’s just….me.
There are so many things pulling at us every day. Some days I can handle it all just fine and then there are other days when I would really like to crawl in bed with lots of pillows and pull the covers tight around me. And go on an all day Netflix binge!
There are things I’ve said “yes” to lately that I’m not sure how they are going to go. Sometimes I wish God didn’t require us to get uncomfortable. Can’t I be the girl He wants me to be in my sweatpants and slippers? Nope. He wants us to shed our comfort shell, get on our knees and wash our troubled neighbor’s feet. We have to get dirty friends. We have to roll up our sleeves, take a deep breath, cancel what we had planned and do.
Jesus commands us to Love one another. Not just the people who are in our bubble, but the strangers, the sick, the strange.
Oh yeah by the way….I have a headache.
Lastly, detox journal, I really, really want to go to Jake’s Wayback for a Redneck Cheeseburger with pimento cheese, French fries and a chocolate shake. It could be a Reese Cup milk shake. Heck, I’d even go for whatever their shake of the month is!
Told you. It wasn’t pretty. But I really appreciate you hanging in there until the end. Thank you for stopping by!