When is Enough Enough?

Lake Murray at sunset
Enough: adequate for the want or need; sufficient for the purpose or to satisfy desire.

Is it ever enough?
Me and Michael's dog, Idgie, enjoying a boat ride

Sam and I walk four 2-3 miles four times a week and I play tennis, is it enough exercise?On Michael's boat with Mom and sisters Annie and Jane

I do my best to cut out sugar, drink lots of water and add more fruits and veggies to my diet, but is it enough?Enjoying the cool marsh breeze at my sister Sue's house

I read and study my bible daily and pray fervently throughout the day, but is it enough? Lunch by the beach with Annie (photographer), Sue and Mom

I open my house on Wednesday nights for a ladies bible study. I make things to sell for various missions. I volunteer time, skills and money for the poor. But is it enough?
Waves crashing over us at Fernadina Beach

I've struggled this summer with feelings inadequacy, that I'm just not enough. No matter what I try to do it just never feels enough. I go around and around with feelings that tie my gut into knots. I've been walking on a very thin tightrope, always on the edge of falling over into the depths of crying my heart out.Ahhh the cool ocean

I've actually sat in church and compared myself to the women sitting around me. I've asked myself "Why can't I be as skinny as her?" …"Why can't I dress as nice as her?" …"Mary, why don't you give more of yourself like her?" …"Why can't your marriage be like theirs?"And the biggest lie I tell myself is "If you were a better Christian, you wouldn't be having all these crazy thoughts to begin with!"

Oh sweet Jesus, save me! And He does. Getting my hammock on at Folly Beach

He comes to me in the quiet moments when I cry out to him. He reminds me that I am enough.Big beach umbrellas and low chairs on the beach with some of my favorite people

He tells me he thinks I'm beautiful just the way I am. Sipping and rocking on the big front porch of our house the beach

God doesn't judge my curves, cellulite and aging skin, but looks at my heart. He sees me trying to love, share and serve. He thinks that is enough.God made me in his image, not as an exact copy. He knows I am flawed, emotional, ditsy, dented, forgetful, self-centered. He knows my mistakes, my thoughts and my desires. And he loves me so much just the same.
God speaks to me through that friend who grabs my hand as tears are flowing and calls out to Jesus for me. He speaks in that quiet moment of the day when I least expect it. He speaks to me through the pages of my bible. And every time he says "You are enough for me."Oyster shells outside Bowen's Landing

I know I'm not alone in having these feelings. We are bombarded with ideas that we should have bodies that look like this; we should think like this; we should accept this and but not that; we should strive for more; we should pack more in our days; we should eat this, but not that; we should act like this and more "shoulds" than should ever be allowed. It can make a person crazy. It has me. You?
Honestly? The only "should" that should be in our life is to give our lives to God. That's it. Completely and totally give our lives over to him, because that is enough.

I have enough. I have more than enough. I have family, friends and purpose. Even when my circumstances are more painful than perfect, I have enough. I have all that I need. I have Jesus. I have a hope for the future. I have a power greater than me, that is in control. I have another day. I have everlasting life. And that is more than enough.

Thanks for dropping by!

When Your Heart Feels Raw

The baby boy is going into surgery for the 79th time.

The man is stuffing handfuls of mayonnaise and sugar packets into his pockets.

Teenagers are trying to navigate through the waters of growing up, just like generations and generations before them.

Those in financial turmoil can not get off the wheel of bad decisions.

The owner of the dilapidated house drives a brand new, shiny, red BMW.

Momma has her sixth child taken away.

With all of the services, education, free meals, opportunities, and churches available, families still live is desperate poverty.

As the crack house and pot shop are open in the neighborhood, children ride their bikes to and fro.

Friends and family move away.

Once in love, now getting a divorce.

Ones we love get cancer. Ones we love get sick. Ones we love pass away.

Millions of children are aborted, left on doorsteps of orphanages, or tossed across the border.

So many things today that leave my heart ripped open, raw with pain. Every where I turn, I ask the question: Why? It’s so hard to keep my tears back.

When you look at the back of a tapestry, it looks messy with random strings everywhere. This is what I see. I don’t understand why so many things happen that cause so much pain. I want to fix it. I even try to trim the yarn or weave it in a different direction, but it never looks quite right.

That’s when God shows me the other side of the tapestry, the art He is creating. This life He has control over.

And it is beautiful!

The front side of my tapestry is radiant with comforting hugs from a son and kisses from the other…

Encouraging words spoken from a loving daughter who lives far away…

Security my husband has given this family through hard, honest work…

Music that let’s me sing my praises…

Laughter shared between good friends…

Words from my bible that tell me over and over again that God loves me.
20140702-112217-40937946.jpgI may not understand most of the things that I come across each day, but I do know that I can find peace and rest in Jesus. As much as I would like to think that I have all this control, I really have none on my own. I have to continually look to the true source: God.

If you are having one of those days where everywhere you turn looks dark, count your blessings, turn on some music, sing, hug someone, turn your tapestry over and see the beauty that God is creating today.

Thanks for dropping by,